i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
