the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize