I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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