I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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