If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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