Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
