Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
