No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
