the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
