please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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