I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
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There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
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I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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