barbara walters just said penis...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
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Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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