Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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