Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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