Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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