if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
