God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
