New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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