I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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