those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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