You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
