i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
where are you?
Hypothermia
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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