Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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