Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
