Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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