Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
