My first STD was from a foam party
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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