Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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