I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
