I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
