so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
