Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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