my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
