Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize