Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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