Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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