I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
