Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
