I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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