I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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