I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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