just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
