I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
