I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
