Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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