I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
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