Already got asked if we're dating
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
