There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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