If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Are we still banned from the library?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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