He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
