hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
