you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
