you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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