Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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