so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i believe in u and ur pee
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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