Will you blow on my dice?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize