So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
