maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
