Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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