drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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