I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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