Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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