is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
