Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
