dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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