like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Drake has all the answers
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
