That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
